Wooden Signs. Our wooden signs are made from pine or fir and the standard size is 145 mm x 80 mm (5 1/2 inches x 3 inches) The writing is done with a pyrography tool (woodburner). Signs can be made to order, they do not have to be funny, we have done bedroom / office / door plaques, house signs, numbers, pictures etc. The standard finish is a coat of interior grade varnish, but extra coats of exterior varnish can be arranged. Each sign comes with 2 predrilled holes for screw fixing and flexible wire for hanging. We can do different sizes, please e-mail us with your requirements. All standard signs are £5 each plus postage (unless you can collect from an event or directly and avoid the postage). We have often been asked where we get the sayings from, there are several answers: some we make up, some we copy, some we see on peoples t-shirts, some we are told and some we adapt from listening to radio and television. Here are some pictures of some standard signs.